This Benei Mitzvah ceremony is not a party to impress anyone, to showcase theatrical talents or ceremony design skills, nor is it for indulging in festivities or enjoying others’ joy, nor for anyone (parents, grandparents, relatives, or friends) to purge their youthful frustrations. This is a ceremony that must be approached with seriousness and responsibility, as it can illustrate not only the failure of parents but of everyone attending. Like any human activity, the danger of turning the ceremony into something it is not will accompany parents and children throughout their preparations. Therefore, there must be a clear understanding of what the ceremony focuses on. It would be terribly distant from the concept of Benei Mitzvah to have a celebration full of materialism or vulgarity.

As has been said, a Mitzvah is a commandment sourced from God. Therefore, when we say Bar Mitzvah, we are not referring to a bar where a bartender serves at a party, but to the responsibility of the young believer to bear on their shoulders the duties and obligations of God’s people. That is to say: “I already know that one must live as Jesus lived.”

A ceremony for a “child of the commandment” can truly be successful when that young person has come to recognize their responsibility. All that the world offers in its parties are very low standards to distinguish this.

As mentioned, this is not a topic to be taken lightly; in reality, it may indicate spiritual insensitivity, and no believer is immune to the disease of twisted priorities, confusing essence with embellishment, allowing the true meaning of life’s important moments to be obscured by the paraphernalia of a celebration aimed at the mundane. Balance is essential as in everything that comes from God, so it is also necessary to avoid falling into religiosity or ritualism that could also divert the course of the ceremony.

On the other hand, there is no need to try to convince guests of the family’s spirituality. Remember that the center of all this is for the young person to know and feel that they have been raised as a “child of the commandment.” It is they who must demonstrate to everyone (parents, family, spiritual mentors, and church) that they are spiritually responsible and capable of making very important decisions in the future such as repentance, baptism, deep study of Scripture, serving God part-time or full-time, etc.

Author: Dr. Liber Aguiar